


Sanders Sides Road Trip

by YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou



Series: Sanders Sides Stand Alone One Shots [3]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, No Angst, One Shot, Road Trip, This Fandom Needs Better Tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 21:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou/pseuds/YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou
Summary: Thomas Sanders is going on a road trip to see his family. Naturally, the Sides show up. It goes about as you would expect.





	Sanders Sides Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> For this story, I just had Thomas rent a car becuase after googling where he lived, I felt it would be too stalker-ish to even google what kind of car he had, and a hatchback better suited the purposes of this story. I hope you enjoy!

Thomas slid into the driver’s seat of his rented hatchback. He wished he could have taken his car; but it was in the shop and the trip to see some family in Miami was planned last minute. He wished Joan and Talyn could have come along; but at least they had been nice enough to drop him off at the rental place.

As he pulled out of the parking lot he yelled, “Logan! Where’s my navigator?”

The Side popped up in the passenger seat. He was already holding up at map and his cellphone.

“I have already plugged the address into a GPS, I have printed out the directions, and just in case I’ve also acquired a map. Get onto the interstate, I know you are already familiar with the way.”

“Sweet, teach!” Thomas smiled.

As soon as they turned onto said interstate, Patton popped up in the backseat. He took the middle seat, strapping his seatbelt on like the responsible adult he was.

“Ooohh, road trip! This is so exciting! Who’s ready for some games?”

“Aw Patton,” hummed Thomas. “I would if I weren’t driving.”

He only beamed in response. “That’s okay, that’s a smart decision! You’re getting good at this adultery thing, Tommy!”

“That’s not-”

“I will join in,” Logan interrupted. “Road games are fun, they challenge the mind and invite the player to explore new ways of reasoning.”

“Great! We’ll need the rest of the gang! Virgil, Roman!”

Roman appeared on Patton’s right, behind Logan. His head whipped around as he sunk upwards. “Oh, are we on the road already? Pass me the AUX cord Logos, I have a fire playlist!”

Virgil popped up on Patton’s left. He startled, removing his headphones. “Crap, I’m late.”

Logan looked over his shoulder at the other Side. “You want to be here?”

“Now kiddo…”

“Oh, sorry. _Carp_ , I’m late. And yes, Logan, I want to be here. Who else is going to keep Thomas safe and alert?”

Thomas’s heart warmed at this. “Aw Vergie, you care so much!”

Said Side’s face went blank with a serious look. “Of course I care, Thomas.”

There was a pause and he leaned forward an infinitesimal amount. “Did you leave the stove on?”

“He hasn’t used the stove in a month,” Logan answered for him.

“Did you lock the front door?”

He thought for a moment. “Um, yes.”

“Did you bring enough clothes?”

“Yeah! I think so?”

“Did you pack pajamas? Because you always forget your pajamas.”

The moral Side next to him squirmed in delight. “Yes, I packed a onesie.” He leaned in and whispered conspiracy, “It’s the unicorn onesie, Logan’s favorite!”

“Did you remember your toothbrush?”

“Ye- uh… did I?”

Princey titled his head at Virgil. “You enjoy this, don’t you? At least a little bit.”

His only response was a twitch at the corner of his mouth.

~~~

The game of ‘I Spy’ lasted fifteen minutes, when the Sides realized there were only so many things to choose from on the open road. Logan was really good at twenty questions, but that too got old after a while. The license plate game, wherein your goal is to spot at many license plates from other states as you could, was only so riveting for so long.

“ _Thomas_ ,” whined Roman, tossing his head backwards. “Are we there yet?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, lifting one ear of his headphones. “Are you seriously going there?”

“No, not yet buddy.”

“The trip will last for approximately five hours,” said Logan. “We are one hour and eight minutes into our trip.”

Roman groaned.

Patton twisted in his seat, pulling something from the trunk. It was an open style trunk with easy access to the back. “Son, do you want to take a nap?”

“Noooo!”

“You are the creative Side, Roman. It is understandable that long car trips would make you bored.”

He tossed to his right to face the window, pressing his face to the glass. His arms were crossed. “I don’t want to, _Mom_!”

The fatherly Side draped a blanket over the creative one. “How about you brainstorm for a bit? While you don’t have any distractions?”

Roman mumbled, “Fine.” When Patton looked at him a few minutes later, his eyes had shut and his head lolling as he dozed.

“Take a picture,” whispered Thomas.

~~~

“You didn’t use your turn signal.”

“Whoops-you’re right Virgil, I’ll be more careful next time.”

A few moments passed, then Virgil glancing over Thomas’s shoulder at the speedometer.

“You’re going too fast.”

Thomas sighed. “Yes, I know, I’m trying to pass this car.”

“It can be unsafe and time consuming to remain behind a car that is traveling well below the speed limit,” interjected Logan, adjusting his glasses as he reconsidered the map. “If they break too suddenly, it could cause a crash. Or we could get backed up behind traffic congestion.”

Virgil threw his hands up in the air. “Okay, fine! Let’s all just not think about how we’re in a metal cage hurling seventy miles an hour down a glorified airport runway beside other drivers of equally questionable driving skill, with only thin straps and inflatable whoopy cushions to keep us safe in case we wind up in a ditch, or as a smear on the pavement.”

“…Virgil, I was feeling good today, buddy. Uh, Patton are you-”

“Hrm?” Patton looked up from his ‘adult’ coloring book. “Oh sorry, I wasn’t listening. It’s really hard to color in a moving car. What were you all-”

“Nothing!” They all answered simultaneously.

“Did someone call?”

“AAAHHHH!”

“ARGH!”

“AIEEEEE!”

“GAH!”

“EEEKKK!”

The car swerved once, twice, before it straightened out again. Up front, Thomas stared dead ahead, wide eyed. Logan panted, one of his own hands on the wheel. In the backseat, Patton and Virgil were both clutching at each other, leaning as far back from the trunk as they could with their seatbelts on. Roman had somehow, haven just been awoken from his nap, managed to twist himself upside down in his seatbelt and was kicking at the intruder in the trunk.

Two yellow gloves and a scaly face peered over the seats. “That went exactly how I thought it would.”

“Deceit!” Roman cried. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“We almost died,” muttered Virgil, face pale.

Patton hugged the younger Side closer to his chest. “Now Deceit, that was very dangerous, what you just did!”

He grinned tightly, his own heart still racing. “I am very sorry.”

“Apology accepted.”

Logan rubbed his forehead. “Patton-”

~~~

Deceit left, quickly deciding that the trunk wasn’t the most aesthetic place to sit. It was four hours into their trip. As they wrapped up their sing along to the Tangled soundtrack, Virgil glanced out the window.

“Seven,” he said under his breath.

Thomas barely caught the whisper. “Seven what?”

“Shoes. Seven shoes on the side of the road. All without a matching pair.”

Patton whipped his head around to try to find the shoe that was now well behind them. “That’s _so_ sad!”

“It does boggle the mind,” said Roman, rubbing his chin. “How do those shoes get there?”

Up front, Logan stared out of the window, blinking. “I-I don’t know.”

Ten minutes of googling, and Logan was still searching for an answer. “None of these explanations are adequate! Each source just gives these plausible variations of scenarios in which one could lose a shoe, but none explain the overarching phenomenon for this epidemic!”

“Aliens?” suggest Roman.

“No,” Logan answered, although he froze as soon as he said it. “Or…yes?”

The next hour was spent by Thomas listening to Logan trying to debunk each alien theory Virgil and Roman threw at him, to varying degrees of success, paranoia, and questioning of sanity.  As they neared the end of their trip, Thomas found himself navigating the streets of Miami towards his family’s house.

“Left?” asked Thomas.

Not looking up, the logical Side nodded. “Right.”

Thomas made a right.

“What are you doing? You’re going the wrong way!”

“Logan, you said make a right!”

“No I-I did. I did say, ‘make a right’. Curse you, semantics!”

Patton tutted, shaking his finger. “No cursing in this house.”

“Padre, no estamos en nuestra casa!”

“What?”

“Again, Sir-Sing-A-Lot, we don’t speak Spanish.”

“It is a language of romance!”

Logan spun around in his seat, exasperated. “Romantic languages are called that because they have Latin roots, the language spoken by the Romans. Not because they are inheritably, and literally, romantic!”

While he was distracted, Patton had grabbed the map from his lap and was studying. “Kiddo, you can circle around at the next left and we can get back onto the main road.”

“Okay guys,” Thomas called over his shoulder. “New rule: no breaking Logan while he’s in charge of directions. Thanks Pat.”

~~~

It was a great relief when they finally arrived.

“You forgot your swimsuit.”

Thomas jolted up in the air. “I knew it! I knew I forgot something!”

Roman leaned forward to look at the other Side. His head was tilted at an angle. “You do. You do enjoy it.”

Virgil shrugged and winked.

“Uh, boys?” Everyone turned to Patton. “I’m missing a shoe.”

Needless to say, it took a while before Thomas was composed enough to step through the front door. As they stepped through, the missed the maniacal laughter coming from the trunk.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this made you smile!
> 
> There's four screams; it's up to your interpretation of who screams and how! Hint: one person doesn't.


End file.
